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Hi, Has anybody tried this? Any recommendations on sites? You need to be clear about what you want.
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Day to day we are just us and equal partners in our relationship. Dipping your toe in can be difficult.
So sub dating site carefully. If you do decide to go online, you can look somewhere like fetlife. But like meeting anyone online, you need to make your personal safety a priority. Then there's the BDSM scene. While it may only involve painless, mild stuff; it usually doesn't. Ive seen a few women who enjoy submission during sex to a relatively mild degree in the context of the BDSM scene try hooking up with doms - and found out what the Dom expected was a lot more than they imagined, and they really did not enjoy it. In fact they were scared during it and traumatised afterward.
A lot of women seem to have a submissive side sexually - that doesn't mean we need or want to get into the extremes of the BDSM scene. Many men are very happy to include sub dating site restraining, mild bondage, spanking, dirty talk, mild domination etc in sex. Also there is a great deal of abuse wrapped up in that scene, much of which women are too far into recognise as abuse until later.
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There's all the safe word, boundary, rules shit - which people can very easily override and not be too worried about the consequences for them. Many thanks for all of the advice! People have a romanticised, naive view of what it's like. Hi OP, I would recommend websites like Fetlife.
Not to meet someone, but to find out about local munches as PP suggested. The people I met were really understanding and supportive. They were also very protective of the newbies. I think before you get involved with someone you need to decide exactly what you want and what you don't want. Good luck.
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Sorry missed the last two words. Some people are naturals at this. I've had bfs in the past who were terrible partners but did all those things really well.
Kind of hope it's not always the case. Love my partner that I have now but ask him to do sub dating site like this and it's so meh lol It's harder than people are making out asking a regular dude to do this stuff as the really loving people don't want to hurt their partners and can be really awkward if it does not come naturally.
I think the showing porn or material of some kind that you would like to happen is a good idea just might take a while but it's not worth throwing yourself at the whims of fetlife. I once met a bloke from fet life. We met in a pub for drinks. Had a great time.
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He's now my DH. Despite him being "the dom" he's a normal bloke. He's currently downstairs with our two children cooking dinner while I'm in the bath. Fet life does have some creeps, as does any site. Take the usual precautions. Just read your update OP. Maybe don't venture on to fet.
It's not particularly just for teasing and tying up. Ive dabbled with this and a true Dom may be very kind outside of the "play" but may change ificantly during. But if sub dating site understands your needs and wants he will be very careful about your feelings - while also working on your softer boundaries. It's a confusing thing if you're not too sure about it. Research is your friend. I broke contact with my Dom as I stopped trusting him.
His personal life exposed some quite sexist beliefs that I couldn't accept.
How ever I have another partner who is into BDSM and he is great - lovely and kind and always asks permission about everything. He was ideal as an introduction.
I'd actually say it's average. And it's not on the same planet as the BDSM scene. As for asking a 'regular' partner to do what op likes, ime most men will.
Soms may not obviously, but I don't think op will have a big search to find one who will. I understand what people are saying here OP, but I wouldn't go out looking for a 'regular' guy to restrain you, if I was you. If you're just looking for no strings fun, I would still look for someone with experience who knows what they are doing.
Even bondage can go wrong very quickly and I wouldn't play with it with anyone you don't know and trust, even if that's as far as you want to take it. First though, as pp have said, do lo and lo of research and don't take the same precautions when meeting someone online, take extra.
As a sub, handing over power to someone else and allowing them to tie you up and hit you involves a lot of trust even if sub dating site really enjoy it! She doesn't need to get into the BDSM scene to do that, even if it's the 'lighter' end.
If they haven't got either of those, you shouldn't be shagging them in the sub dating site place. I could be wrong but I get the impression op would be better doing this as part of her sex life with a partner, whom she has a loving, trusting, playful, familiar relationship with; not someone off the internet from a particular lifestyle group. If using plastic handcuffs from Anne Summers fine, but anything else has the risk of losing circulation- which can be quite horrendous and it wouldn't be the first time broken bones or fractures occurred.
Scarfs or neck ties are not going to be comfortable and will probably cut OP, give friction burn, be hard to tie with enough restraint but so they can be removed quickly.
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On top of this, when using restraints, role play is sometimes happening and someone who isn't clued up on consent can very easily miss cues to stop. Of course it's better to do this with someone you love sub dating site trust, but if she is going to meet someone off the Internet anyway, as apples said, some guy that watches dodgy porn isn't going to be a good candidate. Already have a Mumsnet ?
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