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Alyssa Garrison October 19, As a result, most articles seem to focus on how to get through the next nine months with some shred of sanity, and stress the importance of asking for help.

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Growing a human is a strange, uncomfortable, foreign endeavour even at the best of times. In my perhaps naive opinion, fear is the worst enemy of a healthy mom and healthy baby.

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One evening, the pack of us ended up splitting pitchers of margaritas and plates of nachos at a local Mexican spot, and on our way out I overheard a heated conversation among a group of women at the table next to us.

Though their conversation was anything but personal, I felt attacked.

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This sentiment seems to be echoed almost everywhere I turned. Thanks to my ever-expanding bump, I can completely avoid the type of partnership that would most likely have ended in a lot of wasted time—and wasted tears.

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By making the choice to power ahead with what I know is right for me, I have created an accidental filter that blocks the non-serious and non-committal. Yes, being pregnant on my own cuts down the population of people interested in dating me, but is that such a bad thing? Once I noticed the shift I wanted to test this whole theory out on a more measurable scale, so I settled upon a research strategy. I made three online dating s on three platforms—Bumble, Tinder and Hinge—because, science.

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For a hot minute I thought about swiping right on everyone I came across to gather data on a wide sample of the population, but in the end I decided it would be more effective to follow my usual swiping tendencies and study how different the experience actually was while pregnant.

I had tons of matches on all three platforms and, just like always, some were terrible at conversation, ghosted for no reason or seemed great but avoided plans to actually meet.

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Plus I already had a couple safe, respectful, trustworthy hookup guys in my back pocket for those particularly horny pregnant woman moments. It was more than my delicate pregnant ego could take.

I ended up meeting a guy I liked a lot—our first date was at a cool craft brewery at the very start of summer: we watched a spectacular sunset, and kissed till our mouths were sore. A couple months later at my ultrasound, I realized that I had unknowingly conceived the day before our first date.

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Then he went to travel around Greece for a month, and shortly after I got a positive pregnancy test. I reasoned it was wrong to tell him I was pregnant by a sperm donor via text message, so I avoided the subject in the lengthy conversations we had while he was away. R returned from Greece almost exactly a month into my pregnancy and I was next-level nervous to see him.

We immediately became exclusive, he bought the pregnancy book I was reading and shared his notes without being too imposing on me and my plans, and our dates continued to be as cute as always, just with a few fewer cocktails on my end.

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Everything was going great, until his friends got involved. Turned out his ex still shared his Kindle and saw the pregnancy book we were both reading, which lead to a group text amongst his friends that I happened to be meeting that night.

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As soon as it was clarified that he had not in fact gotten me pregnant, his friends were even more confused, insisting he could do better. He repeated all of this information back to me on a date a few days later and we both had a laugh, but the following weekend he sent me a text message to abruptly end things. What year-old does that?!

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In the end, I had two really great takeaways from the whole experience. And two: I am not any less loveable because I took control of becoming a mother on my own terms.

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My swiping experiences since have been positive, but no other sparks just yet. We all find love, regardless of what our families look like or the fact that our baggage might come in an adorable kid-shaped package.

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A dear friend of mine recently met me for tea at a local brunch hotspot and midway through our conversation she made a comment that instantly brought me to tears. Joseph Communications uses cookies for personalization, to customize its online advertisements, and for other purposes.

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